Making A Difference

“One Person At A Time”

How Do You Deal With Failure

Failure is the scar tissue of a successful life.

It is the evidence of a succesful battle against surprise attacks from your mental, emotional and spiritual enemies.

Failure is not a fatal wound, it is the expected stepping stone to all great achievement.

Learning to deal with failure is the basic training for life in the winner’s circle.

As in all my talks, these statements are only my opinions. I am sharing them with you in the hope they will help you as they have me. As you read the list, you can decide for yourself which method you now practicing.

There is time for change, if needed.

There are many ways to deal with failure and this list will not be exhaustive.

I am only going to deal with two different methods. I am calling them “Process #1 and Process #2″

If you are familiar with my life story (http://www.jerry-hill.com) you know that I left home at the age of 12. I lived a troubled life for the next six years, going in and out of all the traps laid out for unguarded children.

These are not the things I am going to write about here, but when face to face with an audience,  I share these stories as a source of encouragement to the members of the audience that may know someone in the same position or may be struggling with leftovers from their own life.

The main problem with on the job life training is that by the time you learn from your mistakes, you may be too tired and beat up to try again. It is a great idea to learn from the mistakes of others. It will save a great deal of time and energy.

I like to tell my audiences that Failure is one subject I know a lot about, I have failed at more things than I can list here. There have been some sucesses.

There are seven different keys to dealing with Failure listed here with two responses each. I hope they will help you in your battle for success.

To avoid stress, strokes and suicide you will need a working formula that allows you to deal with Failure on a successful basis.

Many people quote Paul from the book of Romans where he says:” for all have come short”.  We all feel at one time or another that we come short of so many of life’s goals, we need to be able to move on.

Today this is a nation out of control. “One nation under God” is enduring a tremendous assault from all sides, our congress has an aisle that divides it, our churches are growing by eruption as one spews or spawns another and the education system is failing after 12 years of enforced attendance to teach life skills that will prepare our kids to make change, deal effectively with other people, read a contract or lease, balance a checkbook, file a tax return or choose a politician to direct their world.

We need a formula for dealing with failure.

In this country most look at the top 10 or top 100 and point to them as the leaders, winners and ones to emulate.

That automatically puts every one else at less than desirable. We go through life being to short or to tall, to fat or to skinny, to dumb or to smart, to poor or to rich or in other words we are “just not right”.

Here are my steps to maintain contentment while dealing with failure.

First #1: “RESTRICT YOUR VISION”

Process#1:  Contrast causes conflict.  When we look around we see that most people are either like us or beneath us on the evolutionary scale.

This causes very little concern or stress, but there are those top ten percent that cause us to be in a stress mode.

Then I think what if it were possible for me to achieve that same level of success as the top ten.

This thinking process can cause so many problems.

It sows the seeds of discontent in our life and can cause us to become unhappy with every thing we have been doing our entire life.

If you choose process #1 like the 90% of people on the planet, you will need to control your thoughts, curb your dreams and ignore possibilities.

This is not going to be easy.

Even thought most people deal with life in this manner it is not an easy thing to go through life wearing blinders, just like a plow mule.

You are going to meet up with a successful person now and then and they are going to look very normal and can cause you to doubt everything you tell yourself about not being able to duplicate the success patterns followed by them.

IT IS IMPERITIVE TO RESTRICT YOUR VISION if you choose to deal with failure in this manner.

Process # 2: Open your eyes, success is a real possibility, just do what is required .

It is based upon choices.

They are yours to make.

Prepare yourself, what ever your self image, you can do a make over.

Practice more self-control, it is your life to live, pick the manner you wish to live it.

Start sharing your dreams with others, you need the motivation.

Other people will help you in some way, they will either give you something to overcome on a daily basis or they will give you encouragement in your quest.

Pick the people that can add something to your life and hang on to them. You can tell in a short time span which type of help they are capable of sharing, prescribe the dose of each of them you need to keep you on track.

We all have 24 hours in each of our days and 7 of these in each of our weeks, use them to renew your vision of what could be.

Process #1:  No one knows better your true nature than you do.

If you really believe that this is a true statement then:

Watch out for the immigrants who come to this country with no money, a built in language barrier and more suspicion, resentment  and distrust than you could ever believe.

If you insist on trying to rise higher you will expose your faults to everyone. It will become very public and possibly bring much shame to yourself and those who love you.

Since you already feel that you are not good enough, there is no real need to prove it beyond all doubt.

My daddy always told me that it was better to have people think I was stupid, than to open my mouth and remove all doubt.

A good healthy assessment of your assets will convince you that you belong in the less than success crowd.

You could go the extra mile and make a list of all the reasons you know that will hold you back.

This process should give you the peace and contentment you need to stay a failure.

Process #2:  Or you can take that list you just made and go to work on self improvement.

You are still in the land of the living, how long does it take to complete any study process in America, 4-6 years from now you could be a doctor.

Does your list contain crimes against humanity that deserve death. Then why settle for a life of sameness and mental, spiritual, emotional and financial death.

You can find forgiveness for most anything. God will forgive you, the American Justice system will forgive you, after you have paid your debt to society, those who love you will forgive you, if you want them to.

CAN YOU FORGIVE YOU.

You did not set out to fail, it just happened.

By the time you learn of your errors, that part of your life is over.

START AGAIN.

You can get yourself an acquittal if you try. Do an appeal, pass judgment and serve your time preparing for what is next. You will like the next portion of your life better than your last one, it will be committed to your own best interest.

Process #1:  Give up. You can vegetate mentally, physically and spiritually, turn loose of your dreams, erase your hopes and aspirations and just accept the fact of defeat.

Remember 9-10 are not in the top 10%. That will never change.

Don’t let those mental marines (top 10) get you excited. You know the facts, NO ONE ever pulls out of the pack and makes it against all odds.

You have seen it before, you have even tried things yourself that you could not make work, do not get caught up in a dream life, face reality, grow up, do not rock the boat, once a failure always a failure.

Process #2:  Don’t quit, keep trying,  push  past the pain, unbelief and pessimism.

So what if you did not make it last time, get up, quit feeling sorry for yourself and try again.

This is a world where second effort is rewarded.

The prodigal son was welcomed home, Jonah made it to Nineva and you can have what you are willing to claim for yourself.

Join the great American who said “damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead”.

Turn defeat into victory, get renewed, and rejoin the battle, you may just be suffering from a little shell shock.

Set a new goal or milestone and get there as fast as you can, even a small victory will prove that you have the freedom of choice needed to make it.

Process #1: You can act dead, dormant or deluded and just say oh yeah, I know that people can do it, I know it is possible, but I just know that it is not for me.  

Agree with all opportunist, just do not take it personally, you can ignore these possibilities, you have done it before.

Just get indifferent.

Apathy will work most ever time.

Many people today are in a total state of indifference.

You see them, are they not happier than that person seeking, struggling and striving for success?

Process #2: Arise from the dead, shake away the dormant feeling of hope, the only delusion there is that you cannot do what you want with your life.

We are in a land of freedom, a land where the personal pursuit of happiness is spelled out in our constitution. This is not the country to give up in.

Start over, follow your dream, get excited, fellowship with others who are excited.

Reinforce the positive, eliminate the negative. Who told you that  you were naked, you can do what you can believe, get out of the bushes and replenish the planet.

It is your opportunity to do what has not been done before.

There are those who will go with you, there are those who will support you in your quest and there are those who will follow you to freedom.

Process #1: This is easier than you think, many a person upon seeing and hearing about all the people who found success easier than they expected just said to themselves, “yeah, but I am different”.

You do not have to move  into a cave to be isolated just throw away your television, throw away your library card or break your radio, you can just hide behind excuses, drop out of the rat race, get more unique. Then you are effectively isolated.

There is a real danger of being around people motivated about life and it’s possibilities. That 10% is out there, they may be found in your church, your bowling group, on the golf course, they could be anywhere.

Hey, no one said it was easy to be a failure, you have to work at it if you want peace of mind and contentment.

Is it worth it to you.

Process #2: Join in. Get involved in something.

Get a support group.

Find something that feels good and get immersed in it.

It is more fun to be a part of a success story than to try to stay away from it.

It is more fulfilling to be in the good fight than to sit on the sidelines. If you must go down, go down fighting.

Give it a chance and join today in a worth while venture.

There are hundreds of opportunities to make your life count, find a few that you identify with and get involved.

Hurry, you will find that a sense of urgency intensifies your energies.

Process #1: Do not risk more than you can afford to lose.

Going “all in” is all right for television poker games but is to be avoided if you wish to maintain a contented peaceful life.

Fear of failure is not nearly as frustrating as fear of success.

Many a person has ruined their life when they achieved a measure of success without believing they deserved it.

Hollywood is full of overnight failures.

Many a would be entrepreneur started out and only failed.

There are many unseen dangers sailing into uncharted waters.

It is OK to try things, just avoid things that have risk. Look at the dangers involved, look at how many people did not make it when they tried.

You can find your own personal reason to not get involved if you just look hard enough.

Process #2: Living on the edge is exciting, put it on the line and go for it.

Even if you fail at first, you can try again.

Edison failed thousands of times before he lit up the world.

One of our world leaders made the statement that there is nothing to fear but fear itself.

Perfect love will eliminate all fear.

Get back on course in life and as you pursue something you love, you will become bold and powerful.

There is a tremendous amount of energy in faith. Try some.

Pick something you would like to be and become it. Go for it. As Nike says “just do it”.

Those who say it can not be done are many times passed by those who are doing it.

Besides, wouldn’t you really rather be following your own dream.

Prepare yourself the best you can and follow others who have showed you the way to be your own army of one.

Process #2: DO IT NOW. Make the first step today, you must walk one step at a time, but get started, the rest of your life is just before you.

Chose how you want to live it and get on with it. There is no better time than NOW.

Today is the day of deliverance, freedom is at the door, open your mind and heart and have faith in yourself.

Your God expects it, your country needs it, your family will benefit from it and you will like yourself for the rest of your life because of your decisions made today if you get started on following your dream.

Jerry D. Hill

Note: I have been a speaker since 1956. Both on spiritual, mental, business and emotional subjects, speaking on stage, on radio and on television. This particular talk is part of a two day training session abbreviated for delivery in 15-20 minutes at different civic , church and business groups.  I send this out with the prayer that it will inspire you to rise up to your full stature and live to the maximum your remaining days on earth.